An evening of friends

Tonight, was our third community dinner.
The month of March has been one of a whirlwind, so, on the fly this one was put together with less planning and fewer invitations. But the heart of the night remained.  A small gathering arrived, bearing food and drinks, while the night began to play out with flowing words.
I cannot even begin to say how much these dinners mean to me. The coming together of friends. Folks from all different walks of life, meeting, perhaps for the first time, and sharing their stories.  It is a continuous reaffirmation of the power of connection.  Tonights crowd was definitely smaller than the last, but it offered the opportunity to have those long and meaningful conversations, drawing out the heart of a person. The quick chat/questions ceased and instead came forth the experiences and sharing of something far greater. Peeling back the layers built around a person. Yes! says I, now seeing these beautiful people beyond acquaintance, in its place stands a friend. It warms my soul that in offering to others these evenings, new relationships are forged, stories are spilled, laughter is shared, as the night slowly slips by unnoticed.

April will be the last community dinner, that I shall host.  As I wind down from this evening, I am glad that there will be one more, as well as glad for the transitions to come.  But still my heart is heavy, for I have come to find home through these gatherings.  When I arrived in Bozeman this fall, I came with the mission of wanting to build community, of putting down roots, and feeling like I belonged somewhere.  I had no idea how I would form idea into something real, but given determination and a vision, any person can go far.  Today, I have begun to build that community, and have learnt that if you offer up your passions, and invite people in, they will come.  First just a few, but then with time, more will come, and your community grows. This has been such a great experience, that has certainly opened my eyes to the endless possibilities.  As I make my way back out into the world, I will carry with me those nurtured seeds.  I hope to continue bringing people together, sharing experiences, and creating the space for each of us to experience that feeling of connection with those around us.
The lessons found in creating community, are endless, and no matter time or place, this mission is dynamic. Constantly redefining what it means to be with another whether it be one, a group, or even masses.  How, I wonder is this done whilst traveling or simply passing through? Is it easier, or more challenging?  What does it take to build lasting relationships on the go? Next stop is living in a camp of treeplanters.  A community already, but also an opportunity to nurture new relationships, to get to the heart of what it means to live, work and play with a new family. Then onto an even greater stepping stone, of which I feel will expand the horizons of what it is that I wish to reach with my goals.  I think about the reasons to why I want to hike the camino. In some ways, I feel this journey is for greater discovery of my self, looking inside to find how I can give back and continue to nurture my seeds of hope for bringing new friends together.  To listen with my heart, and to never stop being curious.

Gluten Free Chocolate Zucchini Bread

More playing around in the kitchen.  Recently, I've been on a big zucchini kick. Then again...I'm always on a zucchini kick! It's such a versatile and yummy vegetable. But I have been wanting to make zucchini bread for a while, and today, I got into the kitchen and let the love pour out. Now I have two lovely loaves to enjoy this coming weekend.

Chocolate Zucchini Bread

(a la healthy and gluten free variety)

2 cups rice flour

1 cup tapioca flour (or corn starch)

3 tsp guar gum

1tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1 cup cocoa powder

3 eggs

1/2 cup oil (or butter, melted)

1/3 (or 1/2) cup honey

1 cup applesauce

1 cup yogurt

3 tsp vanilla

2 cups zucchini, grated

handful of walnuts and raisins (optional)

1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (optional)

Preheat oven to 325F. Grease and flour two bread pans (8 x 4).  In a medium bowl, mix together thoroughly all dried ingredients, set aside. In a separate bowl, add all wet ingredients, making sure to stir in each one before adding the next. Add the dried ingredients, one cup at a time to the wet mix. Stir in thoroughly.  You can add more applesauce to the mix, if looking dry.  Add to the greased pans and you are ready to bake! Bake for 30-40 minutes or until a fork (or other tester) comes out clean.  Let cool for about 20 minutes, then remove from pan, and continue to cool on a rack. Or go ahead, cut yourself a piece. Enjoy!

The Art and Science of Gluten Free

Since mid-January, I have been leading a gluten free life.
This was not something diagnosed by the doctors, nor was a doctor visited.  However, after experiencing quite a few newly developed health problems and unpleasant symptoms, I thought I would see if altering my diet would make any improvements. As sugar, wheat, nuts, and dairy are the four major categories of allergies, I decided to focus on one of these groups. As I am not too big into nuts, that one was easily ruled out.  The remaining three were all a toss up, and I decided, that whether than to sacrifice my love of cheese, and my sweet tooth, I would take a break from the wheat family. I had recently quit a job working at a bread bakery, and had my full fill of bread in 2010, so I decided that it wouldn't be too much of a challenge.
Initially, the experiment was supposed to last about 2 weeks, and then I would reassess the situation.  After the two weeks, I had found that my symptoms had started to improve.  So, I have stuck with it. In all honesty, there are so many resources now, at least here in Bozeman, it has been a fairly easy transition. Especially as I cook all my own food. though step out for a night on the town or travel across country and the options become limited or non-existant. It reminds me of the early years of growing up vegetarian, before vegetarian diets were trendy.
I don't know if it was in fact the wheat that was the culprit of what was going on, but I figured if I was feeling better without it, why not keep going?  I'm planning on reintroducing wheat back into my diet again soon, to see if the problems being to show again, but for now, I am having fun exploring the new world of baking and cooking gluten free!
My job at the Nova Cafe, oddly enough, only makes gluten free baked goods.  One of the only places in Bozeman to do so. It's pretty rad.  When the opportunity presented itself that they were looking for another baker to fill in, I pounced on the chance like a leopard after its prey. And so I began my formally informal training as to how to convert recipes and bake gluten free delights. Though the flour combination may be different, I have found it to be relatively straightforward, at least with basic pastries. I have yet to venture into the world of more complex recipes.  All in due time.  In my own kitchen, where I can limit how much sugar goes into what I make, I have begun to play!
Already, I have made two successful batches of muffins.  The first, though great when they came out of the oven, dried out after a day, which had to do with liquid combinations. But the second, chocolate-banana muffins...divine.  The recipe will soon follow, once I am able to remember what I did...
Now, I am onto perfecting the art of making a good gluten free pizza dough. Pizza is by far one of my top food choices, and perhaps has been the most difficult to ignore. Sure there's the ole 'corn-tortilla-pizza' but sometimes you just want your crust to have substance. So today's first attempt is Tapioca flour dough.
Of course, one little unknown fact about me, is that though I love reading,  I don't always love to read directions.  Instead, I err on the side of just taking the plunge. Well, let me tell you what I have learnt about Tapioca flour. It a) absorbs liquids very quickly b) can clump and become something similar to cement c) is probably extremely redundant to mix it with corn starch as they function pretty much the same. This and more was all learnt in less than five minutes. Phew!
For next time, I'm going to take the time to research the flours I'm using before using them.  Remedy for cement-like dough? Over-watering the brick until it looked like a gooey mass. But did I give up then? Nay. I plowed on through, took my gooey mass and patted it down onto the pizza pan. It kind of looked like it would shape up....it was holding. I was optimistic and also a firm believer that you can pretty much cook anything even if it is doomed.  Decisions were made to then pop it into the oven to start the cooking process. Something told me this dough was going to need a lot of cooking time. Ten minutes later, I pull it out....actual time it had to do any cooking....zilch. At this point, I was too excited about the final results, namely eating pizza to cook it any longer. Lesson no. 2: Take time while cooking, as it is going to alter results of a fine meal into one of questionable means. DON'T RUSH, do it right! Where's the craftsmanship?  If you are following the dots here, you will begin to see that my expectations of attempt number 1 on the pizza making front is taking a significant dive.  At this point if it come out resembling a pizza, then my time would be worthwhile.
I successfully cooked the top of the pizza, it actually looks pretty amazing. Now, time to cut into it, and taste the sweet wabi-sabi of a pizza. First cut. Dough appears relatively undercooked. But then I think about tapioca. It's translucent, maybe then it was a good sign?  I take a slice, pop the pizza back in the oven and begin to test the results. Definitely undercooked, but...there is promise. Round two of cooking, top growing darker, insides, just as gooey and undercooked, if not more so. Is this even possible? I'm not sure how I can go about getting the inside cooked this time around, but I shall eat it anyway. It's edible.
In short, this first go around, though not unsuccessful, wasn't exactly what I would call a success. There is hope, yes indeed, and I come out feeling a little wiser on the matter.


Learning curve:
1. Tapioca flour does not need to be mixed with cornstarch. This is just redundant.
2. Do not just treat the recipe like it is wheat. Slow down, don't rush the process, even if hunger and excitement are the backbone of the operation. Learn to tame those impatient beasts.
3. Pre-cooking the dough for longer than 10 minutes, in all likelihood, will fare well. Trust me...
4. Read and research flours before jumping in. GF flours do not run cheap, and really, why waste good food, when one could take a few extra moments and learn some potentially vital information.  Otherwise, start getting used to experimenting with fate and eating undercooked pizza.


Things to do differently next time:
1. Mix rice flour with the tapioca flour....this combination feeling is the winning ticket.
2. Measure out all dried goods in a separate bowl FIRST then add them to the wet ingredients and mix.
3. 3" of toppings is maybe a bit over the top....this may also have something to do with the dough not cooking...

Basic Gluten Free Pizza Dough

2 cups rice flour

1 cup tapioca flour (or corn starch)

3 tsp guar gum

1tsp salt

2 Tbsp olive oil

2 Tbsp honey

1(1/4oz) package yeast

1 cup warm water

Preheat oven to 350F, grease and flour pizza pan. In a large bowl, add yeast, honey, oil and warm water.  Give a gentle stir and set aside for yeast to do its thing.  In a separate bowl, mix together flours, guar gum, and salt.  Mix together, ensuring that all the dried ingredients are thoroughly combined.  Once it looks like the yeast has had time to bubble up, begin adding in the dried ingredients to the wet, one cup at a time, making sure that there are no clumps of four left about. (this is where it gets tricky until round two of pizza dough).  If the mixture is looking dry, begin adding more water, until it is looking more like dough. Add the water slowly, rather than in a panicked manner, as then you will over water it. Oil your hands, as the dough is pretty sticky, and begin patting it out onto a greased pan (unlike traditional doughs, until further experiments reveal differently, you don't need to knead). Par-bake dough for 10-15 minutes, keeping an eye on its progress from time to time. When it looks partially cooked, bring it out, and dress it up in all your fine pizza fixings, then return to oven.  Bake for another 20 minutes, or until toppings have met your expectations.  Slice 'er up because it's ready for eatin'!

***This recipe is only an outline at the moment. I will continue to experiment until I have figured out the proper methods and perfect results. Once the code has been cracked, I will be sure to update the recipe to share. For now, use at your own risk! 

....Sometimes, we need to shed some light in to the dark

Great news! 
The vanishing blog has returned.  Perhaps, it too needed to go on vacation. Maybe a little beach trip, to relax under a giant umbrella, and dip its toes into the salty ocean waters. Do blogs have toes? Regardless, it was a nice little surprise to see it sitting there as if it was I who had blundered and merely overlooked it. 


Lately, I feel, that this has been the case for oh-so-many things on this end. The overlooking of details that are right in front of me. Sometimes it takes the pointing out from another before we are able to see the obvious (or maybe the not so obvious). And lately, this is exactly what I have been experiencing. 

March has certainly been a month of learning to give back. Today, in particular, came great enlightenment in the form of a work review.  Ah reviews! Many things came into fruition from a 2 hour conversation. First, what I have come to appreciate, is the Outward Bound community and their commitment to open dialogue and feedback in a timely manner. Yes, it is true, outside of that OB community, this concept, pretty much falters into dust.  If I ever had any question as to what this means, today, I learnt. As I sat down with my manager, I heard for the first time since I began working at the restaurant, that my performance was mediocre, I wasn't quite doing my job properly, and that I walked very slow. I have to laugh at this, as not one person I work with have said that I am slow!  This doesn't perturb me at all, rather it fascinates my curiosity. Mostly, because I feel like I am rushing about the restaurant like a mad lady. (though granted, I must put in here, that I do know that I have my own pace about things. I think if I were ever to get a trail name, I maybe would find myself dubbed 'Turtle'.)  Oh! How I wish I was able to step outside of myself and see/understand from a different perspective. And then I wonder, why it is that no one could tell me this, as this could have been remedied in an instant. Five months later, and perhaps to the great frustration of many of my co-workers I am at last told.  How slow, I wonder, could I possibly be going and what am I being compared to?  As for my mediocre performance, this was a shock and made me feel pretty low.  I definitely took this aspect to heart, as for everything I do, I do with great heart and dedication.  Though the motions are now being put into place to re-train me on my jobs, I feel frustrated that it is only now that this information is being relayed to me! Right? If I am not doing my job correctly, why wait so long? Wouldn't it be more practical to voice up if there's an issue, such as not meeting expectations? That seems pretty important. Sigh. This was definitely a low moment for my week, but with every grey cloud there is a silver lining. This lining is to improve, and walk away from my job at the end of April, knowing that I did all I could to step up and excel. I am not okay with being titled 'mediocre'.  In all truth, this has been a monumental lesson in a roundabout way. I, too, tend to err on not speaking up. But after today and my great musings of this review, I have come to understand the importance of being courageous and shall begin to walk the talk.  Sure constructive feedback is hard to give, but how are any of us going to improve if we never know? So, today, I begin to give back. I begin to speak up and share my observations, to say the truth. Because, I, at long last understand how frustrating it is to be given feedback in an untimely manner. So fascinating, how we can be taught something over and over again, but it isn't until it happens that we truly learn!


Second life lesson of the day, is to be mindful of how I communicate with others.  Does this happen with a lot of people? Thinking of things, such as appreciations or excitement, maybe to the point of feeling like it has been expressed either verbally or through body language, only to then find out that people have begun to feel that you are a) apathetic, b) indifferent or c) don't care a wild hare? Well, that was another thing revealed to me today. I don't even know what to think. But I suppose it is time to focus on this matter, and to begin to develop better intentions with my interactions. Namely, to embrace those around me with more thought and focus, and express my emotions more outwardly when the time calls for it. To be more genuine and sincere with my actions, especially to those who may not know me on a more personal level. Truthfully, it hurt to hear that I am thought to be indifferent and without concern, because I feel like I lead with heart and dedication with everything that I do.  But it is something to consider, and really, it is my hope that the people I interact with, whether they be strangers or good friends, know that I do care. I am interested, invested and happy to be in your company. So, with this now in mind, my goal is to move forward showing more appreciation towards others. This will be seen by expressing more often my thanks, and letting others know that what they do/ who they are matters to me. In turn, I hope this may open up new dialogues, more rapport and trust, (in particular with those I work with), as I feel like it is very easy to get stuck in those first-impressions then lost in the misconceptions.


 I am sorry that all of these observations did not get to me earlier, but I suppose sometimes each of us just need to give thanks to the gifts of feedback we are given.  Personally, this at least offers me something to work on, to be more aware/thoughtful of, and to walk forward knowing that the responsibility is now in my hands.  I am starting to better understand the lessons behind the teachings.  Let us open the floodgates of conversation.  It's high time we start talking.

Making decisions

Life as of late seems to be stacking high with decisions. 

I'm not sure if I was always terrible at deciding upon things or if this has been a recent development since high school.  Of course concerning the past, the further back I go, the details become rather foggy. Needless to say, let's bring it all back to the present. The here and the now. 

In life, with everything we do decision-making is inevitable. Every moment of every day, we indeed make choices.  Sometimes we are aware of these choices, others they come from our sub-conscious. We don't even think of them, they just happen, though somewhere from inside us, we have made a choice.

Making decisions. Sigh.

Well, rather, let's take a look at this from a different perspective.  The future.  Another unavoidable subject.  It will come. 


Until scientists are able to invent the human-life remote where we may put life on hold, we shall continue moving forward, our footsteps like the minute hand ticking away on a clock. For as far back as memory will allow, I have been a non-planner planner. What will happen in six months, is as much a mystery as to the existence of giant squids. I've no idea. And yet the time has come where logistical planning seem to be oozing out of the woodwork.  What am I doing from now until summer? What will I be doing from summer until fall? What are my plans and ideas for fall into the winter? Where do I see myself in five years? (ok luckily, I don't yet have to deal with this last question! Phew!)

Not only have these questions been swimming in my own little head, but they seem to spill forth from those around me.  "Fern," they ask, "what are your plans? what are you doing? where are you going?" My answer is oftentimes the same response I offer my own querying mind. "I am not sure yet...but soon I will have an answer"(oftentimes, not said with the utmost of certainty).

I'm not sure. That may very well be my epitaph at this point of time. 

What makes decisions such a difficult task for so many people, myself included?  Why have I placed so much value on the outcomes?  Why oh why, was I given the strong qualities of stubbornness AND being methodical? That just seems unfair! I truly envy those, who are able to just decide like a snap to the fingers. There done.  What are your secrets? Share the decision-making love!

The way I see decisions,  is like the way a person puts together a jigsaw puzzle. There are all these little pieces, with hints of a larger picture waiting to be discovered.  The whole time, you're just looking for pieces, and their neighbouring pieces but never the whole.  (but then really, how can you do a puzzle when looking at the whole? It may very well be impossible).  That is where I currently am at.  In front of me is a bunch of puzzle pieces,  all laid out ready to be put together. I look at each of them. The pieces I have are part of the same puzzle but do not fit together. There are pieces missing.  Maybe they are in the box still, waiting for me to find them to piece together just one section of the scene at a time. 

Currently, the part of the puzzle that I am focused on is an image of a house. Where's the roof? Have you seen a piece with a door? Mirroring my own wonders, of whether it is my time to move onwards, or to stay.  Am I happy where I am?  Where do I wish to be? Do I chose to keep walking away from the house in search of the mountains and wildflowers, or has the smoke coming from the chimney called to welcome me home for rest and repose?  

These are the thoughts that swallow me. It is time to take a step back from the small pieces of the puzzle,  take a deep breathe and relax, maybe make a cup of tea to enjoy, and then take a look at the larger picture.  From there, clarity will come and I be able to look once again at the small pieces, gaining a better perspective of how it will all fit together.

Hands Gathering

"We make a living by what we get.  We make a life by what we give"-Winston Churchill

Last night, I hosted my second pot-luck dinner. 

The whole day was filled with excitement, getting the house ready to host guests, preparing a yummy meal to share, and just the anticipation of what the evening would hold. 

Let me begin by saying that it was one of the loveliest evenings I have had in Bozeman thus far.  If you build it, they will come, and come they certainly did!  It began with a slow trickle.  The first awkward moments. Will anyone show up? Is there enough food? What am I going to say? We all experience it. Panic.  Then as if all at once, the flood gates broke and  great wave of folks came pouring in. The panic fades, the questioning subsides and the embracing of the evening ahead sets in.  Front door, back door, so many wonderful people bringing lovingly made food, ready to embrace the unknown.  


I have to chuckle.  Rewind to October.  I hosted a small Canadian Thanksgiving dinner. My roommate, Caroline, and I, having just just recently moved into our new home, had no furniture. Our dinner was served picnic style around a rug. We joked about having dinner parties, where our guests were to bring their own chairs.  Now, flash forward to last night, where everyone was content to sit on the floor in one giant circle, talking, mingling, eating and laughing. One person mentioned how I ought to get rid of the chairs entirely, as the floor was all a person could ever need.  I think as long as you are in good company, the furniture and surroundings no longer are of importance.  They become background, forgotten, non-existent.

New friends were made that evening,  incredible conversations were had, bellies filled with sweet love.  I sunk into bed, weary but smiling, my heart filled with light. As I drifted into sleep, I thought about how incredible we are to have the capacity of bringing people in.  All it takes is for one person. Each of us, with palms open, embracing one another, whether friends or strangers, and saying "I want to know who you are. What is your story?" 


Curiosity. 


As children, we are fearless, asking questions. Going up to strangers.  Taking a closer look and wondering.  Where along the line of growing up, do we lose that curiosity and the fearlessness of approaching others? Is it a learned behaviour?  Or do we simply lose interest, for as we grow, we are over-stimulated by so much in our surroundings? I wonder.  Upon looking back, I realize that there are great periods where my curiosity sat on the back burner, but as of late, I have begun to renurture that seed. This world, all the people and places around us, from the exotic to right outside our doorstep, holds so many mysteries, discoveries and stories.  How can we not be curious to it? 


Somedays, while out walking, I feel that I am seeing a place for the very first time.  I notice details that go overlooked, I hear an accent from a passerby speaking, and wonder where they are from, what brought them to this place and what they have seen.  I notice the twinkle in a persons eye, and am curious to the things they have experienced.  Never stop being curious, strike up a conversation with a stranger, maybe the person in the grocery store, a passerby, or even your neighbour.  For you never know what you might discover. 


 I feel as folks departed into the night, back to their homes, or onto the next escapade, they left feeling full.  Not just of food, but of life! That wonderful feeling of sharing an evening in the company of others.  I shall remember this gathering for years to come, and feel inspired to keep these dinners happening.  In a word, I would say the night was nourishing. In both mind, body and soul. 

Ever wonder what it takes to make a change? Any change really, whether it be from a small detail to the very large variety. As it turns out, an awful lot! This was the epiphany I had yesterday while out on a long walk. 


Radical change. 


It starts with an idea. One Person. A someone out there questioning why something is the way it is, or has become, and deciding "no, something should change". Something could be different.  Then, they set out to make that difference happen. No problem right? In theory no, but then you begin to put the change in motion and what you find is a challenge like no other!


For every one person out there wanting to move to the beat of another drum, there are thousands of others who are set to remain as is. Maybe even fearful.  Why is that I wonder? I feel that everywhere I look, there are signs saying in one way of another "change is good". But if change is so good, why then are we so resistant when it tries to weasel its way into our lives? 


Over the years, moving about, I have watched as the ideals of community have morphed and changed. These days, we are more focused on our television sets, or our computers as a means to socialize and be with people, rather than to host get-togethers, or invite company over and visit. I think about this often. For me, this is a change that I cannot embrace.  My hope and passion in life is to build community. To return to those olden day norms where the kitchen table was the principal place for gatherings, hours whiled away over nourishing, hearty foods and drinks, while sharing in ideas, dreams, laughter and above all the company of others. Doesn't it seem strange being a part of a community is no longer an essential part of our day to day meanderings?


Since moving out here to Bozeman, my goal has been to bring people in. To make friends, put down roots, and to get the elemental foundations in place in order to make a community.  What I have found, is that this is no easy task. The idea around quality time is a commitment, like a steep hill, that few are willing to climb, merely for the sake of what might be found while reaching the top. The unknown. We are held back by what we don't know, and it can be scary. But sometimes, it is taking that small step into the void that will illuminate those unknowns into something far greater than what we could ever expect. Let us not be afraid of all those unknowns.  This is the change that I want to create. To rebuild communities wherever I go. To shed some light and company into our ever growing isolation.  Isn't it strange that the closer we move to our neighbours, the farther away we actually are? Do you know who you live beside? 


Looking at history and our past, it is clear that any sort of change takes a lot of work.  One needs to be persistent, patient, and not flow into the grain, but continue to push against it. To not lose heart when the road gets tough, instead continue to rise up!  


In November, I hosted my first soup party, an idea that came from a dear friend of mine. For one small idea, of serving soup, tons of people from all wakes and walks of life, gathered in one small apartment looking for the nourishment that comes from being with others. We arrived as strangers,  but with warm soup in our bellies, we departed as friends, as the light filled our beings for being able to join in something beyond the self. So powerful! Humans have the capacity to ignite the darkest of moments with a kind word and curiosity. As I held my first gathering, there was a small handful of folks who came, and what I realized that night is that these gatherings have nothing to do with how many people attend.  Sure, maybe it was a small, but the evening was delightful, with great company and small enough to allow for those meaningful conversations to take place. What is important is to relish and appreciate those who do come to visit, and to make the most of that time. 


 One thing that I hope to take with me, is to make sure that no matter what I am doing, I am doing it for the right reasons. What are my motivations, and what do I want to achieve from this? I want to know fully and understand what it is that I am hoping to create by doing something.  All the while, continuing to keep coming up with new ways and opportunities to design a welcoming community. One way in doing so, is by opening my home and my heart to those around me. 


Next week, I will host my second community gathering, and am looking forward to spending another evening filled with friends. Ingredients will be bought to cook something scrumptious, invitations will be passed out and Thursday will come to share the evening with those who I have gotten to know over the past few months. 


As I wrap this up, I would like to say how impressive it is to know there are all these radicals out there in the world, who are fighting for what they believe in.  Those who are stepping up, whether they be voicing their passions or silently making a difference. My hat goes off to them!  The 'how' doesn't so much matter, what is important, is that there are folks out there who are wanting to do more in the world than just sit idly by. As they say, Rome wasn't built in a day and neither is change. It takes time, courage and a strong person who is willing to keep going, no matter if they are supported or not. Isn't that incredible? What makes these people who they are? What makes us, the rest of the world so afraid of changes? Of being open? Of questioning or speaking up? And can we embrace those fears with grace while taking a step forward into the unknown?